Starbucks II: O Christmas Brownie, O Christmas Brownie

Brownie Basics

Festive cheer from Starbucks, because it of course is November now, and so it’s basically Christmas. (This was sarcasm. I do not approve of the way that the last third of the year is basically becoming ‘the run-up to Christmas’.)

See, I had to take the photo in an unusual orientation, because it’s a tree.

Brownie Backstory

People. It is possible I fucked up. The Starbucks cookies and cream brownie appears to be gone.

I was there just on Monday! They were there then! But like a fool, I still had a post in my drafts (this one) and I decided to finish that one up before I went to Starbucks for the long-awaited cookies and cream brownie. When I went on Monday I noted the presence of both a cookies and cream brownie, and also a newcomer, an interesting-looking ‘Christmas tree’ brownie. There they were, in a row, standing upright (to make the tree thing work I suppose). Yet more Starbucks brownie options, I thought, but I’ll have one in December, there’s no way they’re going anywhere before Christmas Day. I could have had a cookies and cream brownie then, but no, just black coffee for me! My work friend had one! Why oh why did I demur?

And then today there was this brownie, but no others! Ok, calm down, I thought. This doesn’t have to be a repeat of the Costa experience. Maybe it’s in other stores but this one’s run out today. But in my heart, I knew it was gone. I had this confirmed yesterday: popped into a Starbucks on my way home and asked the barista if they still did the cookies and cream brownie. “No,” she said. “Maybe it’ll come back after Christmas.”

Maybe it’ll come back after Christmas.

I’ve got to have hope.

Stupid Christmas tree brownie. You’ll have to do.

Brownie Points

Taste: Not bad, chocolatey, but a little bit sickly because most of the taste comes from the thick chocolate icing and the actual brownie is less flavourful. 6/10

Texture: And said brownie is pretty dry and cakey. Because of all the icing on top, the overall texture of a mouthful improves, but it’s still not great overall. 5/10

Presentation: I like the shape of it a lot actually, including the way it’s just a pretty straightforward triangle but the irregular icing gets across the concept of a christmas tree. The glitter is maybe overkill. 4/5

Value: At £2.10, it’s more expensive, bigger, and not as nice as the standard Starbucks brownie (which, by the way, seems to be another casualty of this brownie’s mere existence). 5/10

Fudge Factor: Damn you Starbucks! You blew it all up! Damn you to hell! Bring back the cookies and cream brownie! -2/5

Overall Score: 18

Should I Buy And Eat This Brownie?

This brownie is, at best, middle-of-the-road stuff. I feel strongly that its only reason for existing is Christmas. You know, the half-pagan half-Christian holiday that at time of brownie eating is (checks calendar) five-and-a-half-weeks away. That’s not, for me, a good enough reason to replace your genuinely good brownies with this sort of humdrum concoction. I do not recommend you buy it.

Closing Thought

There’s a film out recently which is called “Le Mans ’66” everywhere in the world except for America, where they felt the need to go with “Ford v Ferrari”. It’s not quite as bad as “The Sorcerer’s Stone” but I still snigger a bit every time I see this sort of “must dumb down the title for an American audience” thing going on.


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